Gadget Ogling: Smart Rings, Breathalyzing Bike Locks, and Laptop-Sized Transports

Welcome to Gadget Dreams and Nightmares, the column that relaxes in a cabin in the woods of the latest gadget announcements, with a roaring fire to keep the terrible ones at bay and a s'more ready for the finest new gizmos.

In our bug trap this week are a smart ring for notifications from your loved one, a breathalyzing bike lock, a payment device that authenticates itself against your heartbeat, and a laptop-sized personal transport system.
As always, these are not reviews, because I surely would have fallen off the transporter several times and injured myself to the point where I could not write this week's column -- that's more of a slant on my balance than the actual product, I should note. The ratings reflect only how interested I am in using each item, no matter how much I may hurt myself doing so.

The Ping Ring

Please, whatever you do, don't decide with your loved one it would be a good idea to get rings that vibrate only when you're trying to get in touch with one another.
Omate and Emanuel Ungaro are offering schmucks the Ungaro ring (pictured above), which does just that. It buzzes when one designated person, whoever that may be, sends a text message or calls you.
I can appreciate the concept to an extent, but that doesn't mean I don't think it's completely silly and useless. With a retail price of up to US$2,000, depending on which type of precious metal and which gemstone you choose to adorn it, it's almost ridiculous enough to make me want to try it. Almost.